pantalones or no pantalones?

I enjoy cooking in my underwear.  Not scandalous, ”I’m a sexy cook” underwear … more like get home from grocery shopping, take off your pants and start dicing some onions. *   

So, more specifically, I enjoy cooking without any pants on – much to the chagrin of the tall dude who, in addition to reminding me that my knife wielding techniques are sub-par, must now grimace at my bare legs being accosted by a chance, normally innocuous, splash from the pan filled with boiling water or over-enthusiastic batch of bacon. 

More often than not, though, it’s not that I’ve purposefully removed my pants in advance of dinner preparations.  Instead, it’s more akin to an avoidance of fully committing to redressing after I shower -especially on a night when I get home late from coaching – pants just seem like a waste when I know I’m not venturing outside until the following morning.

So, I suppose, more specifically – I just don’t like putting on pants.  Inciting the tall dude to also remind me regularly to stay away from windows or make sure the blinds are closed. **

I can’t specifically place my finger on how this preference materialized—the nearest I can recall is that it all came about as a combined rebellious slash celebratory ***act of living aloneness.  The minute there was no roommate to judge – I’d slip through the door and out of work pants.  Like some people have a pair of rubber soled slippers near their door for quick jaunts outside, I had a pair of sweat pants.  My pants were shed with no trepidation because my only roommate was the fury dude and I didn’t have to worry about being judged for spending five hours in the kitchen for a dish that inspired a modest ‘egh’ or opting for sardines and popcorn for dinner.  He’d beg for scraps regardless of if I measured right, chilled long enough or had on pants.

 

And, while I look forward to crawling in bed with the tall dude, appreciate his ability to remove the battery from the smoke alarm without the assistance of a chair and love having someone to cook for – 

Sometimes, after a stressful day ,I need to remember what those days were like when I could leave my pile of clothes for another day, my dirty dishes to harden on the stove and curl up with my dinner, the fury dude and some Food Network.  

Sometimes, when the tall dude’s working excessively late, I need to pour myself an excessively large glass of wine, turn up Pandora and dance in the middle of the Kitchen.

Sometimes, when I’m feeling anxious, I need to take off my pants and cook …

And that's specifically how i cooked last night ...and made me some pineapple jerk chicken.

Paleo Jerk Pineapple Chicken
(Modified (barely) from Health-Bent)

GRAB IT

Leftover Bacon Fat (if you don’t have any leftover bacon fat, make some bacon … quick!)

1 large red onion, thinly sliced into half moons

1 fennel bulb, sliced

2 cloves of garlic

1/2 fresh pineapple, cut into bite-size chunks

2 bell peppers (any color), sliced into strips

A bunch of green onions – cut into ½ in slices

1 lb chicken breast, cut into bite-size chunks

¼ cup of water, broth, wine or cider

Handful of cheese and sour cream, to taste

Jerk Stuff:

1 teaspoon ground allspice

1 teaspoon ground cumin

1 teaspoon sugar  (the original recipe called for coconut sugar .. I have no idea what that is)

1/2 teaspoon ground sage

1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes

1/2 teaspoon dried thyme

1/4 teaspoon ground cloves

1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg

salt and pepper, to taste

Do IT

Grab a bowl and combine the chicken with about 7/8 of the jerk seasoning and toss/shake to combine. Set aside to let the chicken marinate and come to room temperature. (This is a good time to hop in the shower and avoid putting your pants back on) 

In a large saute pan, heat a few tablespoons of fat over medium heat. Add in the onion, garlic, pineapple, fennel and the last little bit of the jerk seasoning you spared from the chicken. Occasionally stirring things around until the onions look soft and pineapple has started to develop a caramalized color – 15 minutes or so.

Add in the bell pepper strips and green onion and let them cook for a bit. – 7 minutes or so

Remove veggies to a bowl.

Add a few more tablespoons of fat to the pan, and crank up the heat to medium-high. Plop in the chicken. 

Don’t touch it or move it around, we want to develop a nice brown crust on the outside of the chicken. Once that’s happened, then, you’re allowed to flip it over to cook on the other side.

Once caramelized take your ¼ c of liquid and stir in quickly to deglaze the pan and get all those yumblies up.

 Let simmer for a minute or two, if necessary, to boil off the excess liquid 

Add the chicken to the onions, peppers and pineapple. Stir to combine.

.

Top with cheese and sourcream … love it!

*all things considered, that sounds like a misguided euphemism.

** Let’s reiterate here – tshirt and grunderpants, not brassiere and panties.

*** I chose to spelled out ‘slash’ so that you had to say it rather than just glossing over it and reading "rebellious celebratory" without the obligatory emphasis on the "slash"?