The End of the Civil War Was Near, When Quite Accidentally

When I was little, Mumma-Jenna let us sleep downstairs occasionally on weekends and during the summer.  With three siblings (and the occasional injection of cousins) that simple allowance made it feel like we were being treated to an impromptu birthday party sleep-over – and instead of having 12 screaming kids over, my mom was treated to a ‘party’ of her own kids who were inherently terrified of the, ‘it takes a long time to build my trust back up ’ speech.

That simple allowance ALSO gave us a chance to pile into a single sleeping bag and “slide” down the stairs*; build elaborate, long-standing tents with blankets, brooms, yard sticks and mounds of books; and stay up late watching TV. 

Those. Were. The. Days.

Then, at some point our insistence died down;  we outgrew the sleeping bags and the tent assembly seemed too tedious for our waning interest and increasingly busy summers.  The impromptu ”weekend sleep over” appeal seemed to disintegrate at the same rate as did our set bed-times.

And while my mother likely mourned the gradual disappearance of her brood’s giddy, childish excitement, we, by no means, abandoned the notion of sleeping downstairs.  I remember at least one entire summer **when my brother and I partook in the benefits of watching nick-at-night for as late as we wanted without having to wake up blearly-eyed at bartime to stumble upstairs, brush our teeth and crawl into bed.  Our beds remained made and unused with the exception of the occasional determination by Mumma-Jenna that the late nights were growing excessive or an upcoming event had prompted an exceptionally intense round of cleaning.

My brother’s fortitude in late night tv is perfectly exemplified by his current ability to flawlessly recite the lyrics of the F-Troop theme song, where I’m just able to stumble through the words of Green Acres.  Luckily for the both of us, Get Smart was on early enough that we had just settled in and, even if dozing earlier in the evening, the transformation of couches to beds, teeth brushing and pajama changing meant we were wide awake and ready for the night to come.

“Luckily” because, in addition to Get Smart being an exemplar instance of pure television magic, we were both actively watching the fateful episode where Max walked away from a food vendor with a delicious looking hotdog  in hand.  “Luckily” because we both had the same thought and sprang into action nuking hot dogs in the microwave, preparing buns and taking out ketchup and mustard to adorn our brilliant late night snack.***

“Luckily” because that single event turned itself into a summer-long tradition – sometimes nuked, sometimes cold, sometimes carb-free or not – a hot dog with Get Smart became our popcorn with a movie.  Although we may have stopped pretending that we were at someone’s birthday party,  we had created a new tradition reminiscent of my favorite part of a trip to the ballpark.

Between Get Smart and, I swear, a genetic predisposition towards strange, processed meat-like foods ****, there was no chance for me to get out of a fairly profound propensity towards a good hot dog piled high with all kinds of garnish and condiments. 

And, not surprisingly, I recently had a craving for a good, solid chili cheese dog.  And this is how a paleo(ish) does a chili cheese dog... Or maybe it’s just how white trash does chili …

Hot Dog Chili with Jalepeno Slaw (modified from HealthBent.com)

Chili Ingredients*****

• 1 lb. ground chicken
• 1 package hot dogs, chopped
• 1 can Rotel tomatoes, chopped small (the original called to drain the tomatoes, I missed that)
• 1 c tomato sauce
• 2 chipolte peppers in adobe sauce, chopped finely
• 1 T garlic powder (originally 1 t)
• 1 T cumin powder (originally 1 t)

Jenna Adds:

• 1 crap-load of pepper – 10ish turns on the pepper mill
• 1 T of stock concentrate (if you drain your tomatoes, add ¼ ish C of water, too)
• Extra adobe sauce
• 3 T of tomato paste (because I had it)
• I sprinkled both servings with shredded cheese after I piled everything into a bowl.  Delish!

Slaw Ingredients

• 1 red cabbage, sliced thinly (The cabbage should quite small–weighing about 1 lb., you won’t need more than that)
• 1/2 c mayo
• 1/2 red onion, sliced
• 3 T pickled jalapenos, finely chopped (I had pickled banana peppers – that seemed to work)
• 5 T pickled jalapeno juice (Ditto)
• 1 T yellow mustard

I halved the recipe and had enough for the tall dude and I to have a fairly hefty serviing, and have about a half serving left for lunch today

DO IT

In a medium sauce pan, cook the ground meat all the way through and then add the cut up hot dogs. Throw the rest of the ingredients in the pot and let it simmer while you make the slaw.

For the slaw, get out a large bowl and add all the ingredients, except the cabbage, and whisk to combine. Add the cabbage to the slaw base and mix to combine.

To serve, place the chili on the bottom of the bowl, then add some slaw and top with whatever hot dog fixings you like. I added yellow mustard, the tall dude opted out.  

* though I’m convinced it had to have been closer to a tumble than a slide.

** or perhaps I’m muddying multiple summers into one single glorious three month span

*** I suspect mustard is my own liberty in recalling this story – I love the stuff now, but I’ve met very few youngins who appreciate this specific goo

**** read: hotdogs, bologna and, most painfully, a big ol slab of braunshwiegger

*****I literally had a jar of queso cheese and hormel chili in hand at the grocery store … and a devious plan in my brain.  I couldn’t bring myself to fill us with that much sold and ‘modified soy vegetable protein.’  *sigh*